Schagren Says (Live from My Own Beer Summit)

Schagren Says: is a collection of random thoughts and predictions from the most random person in Knoxville, TN.

First and Last Sperm Bank Story: There is a sperm bank out in Los Angeles that is taking donors that look like celebrities and one that was on the list was Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. [Deadspin] This means that motorcycle riding Roethlisberger and Roethlisberger look-alike  both don’t like using protection.

Hawaii coach Greg McMackin is Dumber than a Fifth Grader: The Hawaii coach was suspended 30 days without pay and has volunteered to take an additional 7 percent pay cut for making a derogatory comment while describing Notre Dame’s chant before last year’s Hawaii Bowl. McMackin cried at a press conference late Friday afternoon, but I feel as bad for him crying as I did when A-Rod attempted to use his tear ducts while reading his prepared statement about using performance enhancing drugs. If McMakin makes such careless decisions away from the field, imagine some of the bonehead calls he will make during the game. [ESPN]

T.O. Mania is Through the Roof: Terrell Owens’ cereal “T.O.’s” is expected to be sold out by next week. There are two truck loads left and then they are out. I predict that T.O. will score a touchdown this year for the Buffalo Bills and somebody in the front row will happen to have some “T.O’s” that Owens will eat after he scores. [The Big Lead]

Michael Vick will Sign with an NFL Team by the end of Next Week: Fox Sports Radio reported earlier today that rumors are flying in Pittsburgh that the former Atlanta Falcons quarterback was in town. This rumor was also spread by New England Patriots fans and Washington Redskins fans about their teams. Expect Vick to announce his decision sometime next week and I will be shocked if it is not in the NFL.

Tim McCarver Needs to Remove the Stick out of his A**: Fox’s Tim McCarver was on the Dan Patrick show this week and said he doesn’t think Pete Rose deserves a second chance to get back in baseball. [SI.com] This is one of the many reasons why the first time I liked Deion Sanders as a kid was when he doused McCarver in liquids following the 1992 NLCS celebration.

Beer Summit: In honor of the idiots that make such a big deal out of President Barack Obama’s beer summit, I plan on drinking only beer tonight and would love to go Stone Cold Steve Austin and give a beer shower to any moron that rips President Obama over this.